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Random annoying things

17. November 2014 | von

A few days ago I was walking my dog around the park near our house. As soon as he feels the need to hit the grass, I know it is time to get the bag ready and leave no track of his business, which is common knowledge in Germany… or so I thought. Before walking with him, I never actually paid attention to the amount of, say, clues, some dog owners leave behind, showing zero consideration for others. It really bothered me because, it´s not like grass needs that much fertilizer to grow, and certainly walking around those land mines is not nice. Then I thought about many annoying things that we come across at some point, things that are sometimes unavoidable either because it is just nature or because other people are responsible. So, let´s take a look at common annoying things that we know a little too well. In no particular order, here they are:

Only one earbud works: 

scumbag-headphones

if I had to choose between drinking a glass of mustard mixed with red wine, while eating jalapenos covered with spicy sauce, and having only one of my earbuds working properly… I would pick the latter one, but it would be a close call. How annoying is that moment when you hear music coming from only one of your buds? You move the cable, fold it, twist it, pull and push and it always seems like there are a thousand wrong positions against one that works. The best solution usually involves the following steps: getting mad, bending the cable around 180 degrees and holding it between thumb and index fingers until you get sound from both buds, placing tape around it, noticing it does not work, getting really angry, cutting the useless thing into pieces and buying a new pair, regretting the time you wasted tryig to fix it.

Water in your ears: remember how annoying this is? Whenever your ears feel like it, they let water in and a few drops make you think that you have the whole ocean inside your head. Every time you move your head it sounds like you are in front of a river where it meets the ocean, while it rains and a mariachi plays the maracas. There are many remedies: the typical idea-shaking hit to the head with your hand, using your palm as a plunger, jumping with your head tilted like you are being electrocuted, etc. That being said, whenever you finally manage to get it out… sweet almighty potatoes! Does that feel nice!

Labels on your new clothes:

tags10

they used to be a single piece of annoyance. Yes, they were also annoying back then… but you only had to deal with one. Nowadays, besides the fact that you find three or four attached to your new shirt, it seems like labels come with the news, ancient translations, stories, language exercises and activities for children. It is not just that they are there, they are so itchy that you eventually lose it and get the scissors, but surprise! Scissors cannot do the job, because that tiny bit that remains attached makes things even worse. The only real solution comes in the form of a seam ripper… though that sometimes means that you will end up with a hole where the label was. Some companies print the information on the back of thier clothes, that works, but is probably too mainstream.

The toilet seat dilemma: cold seat or warm seat? Choose your poison! This is especially relevant whenever you use a public toilet. Those cold winter mornings and nights, those long hours waiting at the airport or at the train station… nature calls and eventually you have to take that walk even kings have to. Not particularly happy, you walk into rooms that tend to be full of phylosopy written on doors and walls, you hear noises you´d rather not find out where they come from and try to get out as soon as possible. Eventually you find a free one, lock the door, get things ready and sit… what an array of sensations hit you! If it is cold, all your bodily functions will freeze for a while and trying to escape becomes imposible and senseless, it is so cold that even girls on that magazine you are reading put their clothes back on. If it is warm, instead of feeling happy and comforted, you cannot help but think about what that means and again, the less you know about that, the better. As an added bonus, let´s not forget the always heart-stopping wet seat… no further comments.

Constant updates:

updates

computer updates, video game updates, TV updates, phone updates, gossip updates… well, that one is fine… (did you know Miley has a new tatoo?). Those who love statistics know about sudies that show how many hours per day the average human sleeps, eats, plays, etc. But, why don´t they show how many hours we waste waiting until updates have been installed? I´m guessing they are updating the information. Oh, the irony!

Killing a language: We all have seen it, things like using there instead of their, should of instead of should have, your instead of you´re – if it is written by someone who is just learning the language it is fine, but that´s exactly the problem, people learn it that way because they see it so often. Dishonorable mention: PeoPlE wHo WrIte LiKe ThIz... they should be punished and sent to jail, but again, what can you do? Stop using internet and social media? 

And last, but not least:

Random lists: This might come as a surprise but… neeeeh, just kidding. That´s all for now, but maybe new annoying things will come to mind and the list will grow. What drives you crazy? Comments or suggestions are welcome! Cheers!

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